Juniors vs Cataractes: Battle of the .500 teams

Who stinks more? The Cats or the Juniors? That is the question today! Although, I think the Cats automatically stink more because they were the ones who went to the finals last year against Drummondville (and tried to kill the Voltigeurs). Juniors just got crushed in 4 games in round 2 by Drummondville.

Pre-game stuff

  • I love pre-game things in the Q. The play by play guys never have any idea what’s going on. All we know right now is that the Cats are honoring some ex-Hab or something. And it’s taking forever. [edit: oh… it’s MAB’s number they’re retiring….. oooh….]
  • Berubé is bored. He’s skating around in circles.
  • “Now would be a good time for them to sing the anthem”. You think? We’ve been sitting here for 15 minutes!
  • …….Let’s just get to the injury updates…. No Parkes. No Asselin. Poop. Chouinard can have another gazillion goal game today.

First Period

  • Well, 20 mins after the puck was supposed to drop, the puck finally gets dropped!
  • Juniors were 4 inches away from scoring a goal…. FOUR inches =/Gelinas never came close to stopping it.
  • Nice job. The refs just put a Junior who wasn’t even on the ice in the penalty box. Lapostolle’s number in on the scoreboard, but Belanger is in the box?
  • Wow. Major fail for Gelinas! Chouinard shot the puck and Gelinas attempted to clear it and deflected it back into his own net. Bravo, Gelinas! Play by play guys are trying to figure out if he pulled a Kipper or a Floppy Flambe a la the 2005 WJC final.  1-0 Juniors.
  • Hey, is it Kill Chouinard Day? You do realize that he’s the type of guy to come after you and smack you upside the face (and take a crap penalty for it), right? RIGHT?
  • Is it news worthy to mention that the Cats had no shots on this last PP and in fact only have two shots on goal so far?
  • Wow. Defensefail by the Cats which didn’t result in a goal for the Juniors was followed by almost defensefail for the Juniors which resulted in Berube freezing the puck. Yay Bearoobeee!
  • Umm Juniors? Why are you sleeping now? Hello? Wake up, please?
  • Hehehe…. Stich just randomly shot the puck at Gelinas and he totally freaked out. We need to get more shots on this guy.
  • what the heck???? Juniors were THIS close to scoring on themselves on the empty net on that delayed penalty call. Yeeeeeeeesh. That would have been awful…..
  • Whoooooooo! Aubry just scored on the PP! 2-0! Just nine seconds on the PP too.
  • YAY! Eli!!! 3-0! Gelinas’ glove is totally faily right now. I mean that figuratively by the way….

First Period Intermission thing

  • Play by play #2: “Assuming that Gelinas comes out for the second period and the Juniors score early on him… you’d have to assume that they’d pull him for Girard.”
    Play by play guy #2: “Unless their coach is Bykov…..”
  • “It’s 5:00. Do you know where your national team is?” umm, in Vancouver??

Second period

  • walked off to tell mom that Canada now has 11 – sorry 12!!!! – gold medals. Come back and hear that the play by play guys complaining about some guy complaining about medals. Oh well. Juniors are on the PP. And yeah, it’s Girard in nets now.
  • Chouinard hit the post……
  • ARGH. Eli just got robbed by Girard. I WANT GELINAS BACK.
  • Well, I’ll take the Juniors dominating the play all the same.
  • Who the hell injured Hugo Roux-Desharnais?! Shit, he better be okay… he’s still laying on the ice. Phew, he’s okay.
  • gah. Go. Away. Girard. I want the faily goalie back! It should be 6-0 right now.
  • YEAH! Ouellet scores!!! Chouinard did all the work and Xavi picks up the rebound. 4-0.
  • Fight! Fight! Fight! Oops. Thorne got beat up by Tremblay.
  • hahaha Donnelly is yapping and the whole Shawinigan bench are on their feet. Do I even want to know what you’re saying? Nah…..
  • HELLO! Do not allow a short handed attempt! HELLO! Thank you Bearooobee!!
  • Okay, the Cats are waking up. Go back to sleep!
  • Oh hi, Schlumpf is actually playing today? First time I’ve heard his name.
  • Hey it worked! The Juniors are back to peppering Girard with shots! Whoo!
  • Are we ever going to get a penalty called on the Cats? No?
  • YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!! Hugo! 5-0!!! Are we sure that this is the Juniors and not like… the Voltigeurs or something?
  • Are we SURE this is the Juniors here? When was the last time that the Juniors had 20 or so shots in the second period?! I can’t believe this. This is insane.

Third period

  • Juniors shoot the puck on Girard… and again… and again… and… etc. etc. etc…
  • “here they come. Juniors with numbers”. Huh?
  • This team. They understand the term “puck possession”.
  • Shawinigan has returned to their goon tactics, I see. Aubry is hurt now.
  • Jeez. We only have four guys on the bench right now. That’s how short staffed this team is right now.
  • WHOOOOOO! ELI!!!!!!!! 6-0 BABY!
  • Do not remind me about the time that Bearoobee didn’t get a sh…. you know…. because Gouchie won the face off and put it in his own net.
  • Poor Aubry. He gets back on the ice, gets a shot away and hits the post and then gets high sticked in the face.
  • ………. BAH. Stupid Cats score. 6-1.
  • Hey, stop being such a goonsquad, you freaks. You’re going to lose this game so just accept it and stop trying to kill my team!
  • Hurry up Juniors, my Hammies are coming up soon….!!!
  • And now David Rose takes a puck to the face. Can we just pull a curling move and have the Cats concede the game?
  • WHOOO WE WIN! That was way too ugly at the end, but yeah. Hammies time!
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