There once was a Habs fan named EP. She loved her Habbies to death. Unfortunately, her traitor of a relative loves the Sens (EP’s relative grew up a Habs fan). EP knew that she would have to set aside her wrath towards the Sens for one day because it was the little relative’s birthday and well, you can’t go being too mean to a kid on their birthday, right? Right. She decided that it wouldn’t be very nice to tell her poor relative that the Sens reached a new level of horridness when they a blew a lead and lost to the even more hated Maple Losers while her beautiful team cranked out a win over the Sharks. So with a Crosby shirt in hand, she set off to Sensville to celebrate the little relative’s birthday.
Now, EP’s birthday is coming up very soon too and so her relatives decided to be very nice and bought EP a present. Much to EP’s surprise, the relatives bought EP a Habs jersey. EP promptly jumped around like an idiot, put on the Habs jersey, and ran around some more. There’s nothing like a Habs jersey. And there’s nothing better than wearing a Habs jersey in Sensland (unlike in Leafsland, the Sens fans are less tempted to beat you to a pulp). EP thanked her relatives very muchly before zooming around like an idiot again. EP is now comtemplating adding a name/number to it but she can’t decide who she would want to put on it….
So the rest of the day passed by in total bliss as EP was too happy to even notice that the little relative had opened the present with the Crosby shirt in it and promptly professed undying fan love for the Penguins. Upon further comtemplation, EP would now like to say that the shirt didn’t fit the little relative and now EP is going to have to buy another size. EP is praying that the store will only have Ovie shirts in the little relative’s size. And if there’s no Ovie, she’ll send the relative back a Kovy shirt.
Among the many conversations that revolved around slight Sens bashing – yes, EP couldn’t contain herself for every long. I mean c’mon, losing to the LEAFS? Time to fire Clouston!- EP repeatedly heard talk of a certain guy called “Oh-vech-kin”. EP said that she thought that Ovie was Russian. Not Irish. There aren’t that many Irish hockey players… Alexander O’vechkin. Well, Alexander is more of a Scottish name than an Irish one but close enough. EP had to excuse herself at that point as she went off and died of laughter. Happens when they give the girl too much to drink…..
Wait. As EP was recounting her story she was rudely interrupted by the news that Ryan O’Byrne (hey, maybe he’s Russian!!!) has been called up from Hamilton. Again.
Okay. Now the end.